


Me, Myself and I

by MissLii



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, M/M, Multi, Pining, Stupidity, Threesome - M/M/M, Time Travel, non-au, self!cest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 03:22:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2566451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLii/pseuds/MissLii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam takes a deep breath, trying to collect all the thoughts running through his head. Once he feels calm, he pulls the covers away from the boy sleeping next to him. The scream he lets out when he sees who's next to him is loud, and he's lucky if security doesn't come running now. That would be bloody awful, considering that Liam is sure that he either pulled someone that looks just like he did when he was eighteen – and that would be kind of strange, even for him. Or maybe that's him. Eighteen-year-old him.</p><p> </p><p>Time travel might be the best option after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Me, Myself and I

**Author's Note:**

> This fic features sex scenes between Liam from 2011 and Liam from summer 2014. Not your thing? Read something else, because this is self!cest (and Lilo) :-)  
> Edit: Apparently, I'm shit when it comes to numbers/age. Therefore have I changed the age in this fic, so that time-travel-Liam is eighteen, as he should be. 
> 
> Disclaimer: standard disclaimer. I don't own 1D, never have, never will be.

 

There shouldn't be someone in bed with him. He didn't pull yesterday, as far as he remembers he went to bed after having watched a film with Paddy.

 

But he must have gone out, gotten drunk and taken someone home.

 

He can only see the back of the head of the person. The curly mop of hair is weirdly familiar, but he can't place it on anyone he knows, which must mean he picked up a stranger. Shit, that's not good. Not good at all. Whoever the boy who's in bed with him is, hopefully, he won't talk to the rags.

 

_ Popstars gay, scandalous wild night with a stranger  _ or whatever ridiculous headline they would use, isn't something he ever wants to see. And most of all not now, in the middle of the tour, not when he has people around him all the time.

 

Liam takes a deep breath, trying to collect all the thoughts running through his head. Once he feels calm, he pulls the covers away from the boy sleeping next to him. The scream he lets out when he sees who lies next to him is loud and almost shrill, and he's lucky if security doesn't come running now. That would be bloody awful, considering that Liam is sure that he either pulled someone that looks just like he did when he was eighteen – and that would be kind of strange, even for him. Or maybe that's him. Eighteen-year-old him.

 

Time travel might be the best option after all.

 

His scream might have gone unnoticed from the rest of the hotel, but the boy next to him stretches and yawns before he abruptly sits up, looking around himself with wide, startled eyes. When he sees Liam, he blushes and pulls his blanket closer to himself.

 

“Hey,” Liam says, “Didn't mean to wake you like that. Like, I know you're a bit scared probably.” He reaches out to lay a calming hand on the boy next to him, forgetting that he wasn't really comfortable to have people touch him like that, when he was that age.

 

The curly-haired boy Liam is sure is some sort of version of himself – how that even works, when Liam is there too – scoots backward on the bed, tumbling off it and pulling the blanket with him.

 

Soon, the boy picks himself up from the floor, blushing wildly as he looks around. When he seemingly can't find anything familiar, he looks at Liam again. “Who? Like, who are you?”

 

Liam clears his throat and tries to think about something to say to explain to the skittish boy in front of him who he is. Without sending the boy running, that is. But before he can find his words, the boy starts talking again. “Like, did we – did we have sex?”

 

“What?” Liam blushes, and words start tumbling out of his mouth. “No! Fuck, no. We didn't do that.”

  
The boy almost seems a bit disappointed, but most of all he looks uncomfortable. Liam can remember feeling like that vividly, and if that really is him, he would still be a virgin. To wake up next to a stranger like that must be hard to wrap his mind around, scary even.

 

“Yeah, you're really hot. Like, I see how you would never – not with me,” the boy stutters, refusing to look at Liam now that he obviously thinks that he made a fool out of himself.

 

“ There is no good way to say this,” Liam says. “I think that you are me – like, me from a different time. Like, time travel maybe?” He can hear how _ dumb _ it sounds, but he can't really explain this any other way, the boy has the same birthmark on the neck as Liam, the same nose and the same curls. Can't be any other reason than time travel.

 

“You must be drunk, or something – what even?”

  
Liam gets up from the bed, moving toward the boy with slow, careful movements, not wanting to scare the boy – himself – further. “Look at me, you must see how we look the same. Sort of, like, the important parts at least.”

 

When he looks at Liam, the boy seems to come to the same conclusion as Liam did. That only makes him look even more anxious than before, almost on the verge of crying. “That doesn't make any sense, like, I went to sleep in me own bed.”

 

It really doesn't, Liam thinks. But luckily he has four other boys he can count on, that must know that to do. “We need to have a band meeting. Right now,” he says.

 

That makes the boy smile, even if the smile is tiny and uncertain. “So, we are still a thing then? The band, I mean.”

 

“You could say that, yes,” Liam says absentmindedly as he types out a quick text to the boys, asking them to come around to his room at once.

 

\-- -- --

 

Zayn's half asleep still, when he comes just a few minutes later, his hair messy and eyes sleepy. He gives Liam a soft kiss on the cheek before he seems to realise that they aren't alone. Then he startles and looks confused, hands twitching as if he wants to pinch himself, to see if he's asleep still.  
  


"Is that – no, I'm fucking losing it," Zayn mumbles.

 

Before Liam can say anything to reassure Zayn that  _ no  _ he's not hallucinating, his younger self stumbles over to them, looking dazed. "Zayn? You look --" he cuts himself off – a startling pink blush quickly spreading on his cheeks – and looks down on his own feet.  
  
Liam strokes his hand through the blushing boy's hair, trying for a calming gesture, and gets a thankful little smile in return. "Like, I don't know what's going on – but this is me, sort of."

  
Before he can explain further, not that he has that much more to say (he doesn't understand it either), Harry and Niall come through the door. 

  
For some reason it takes them less time to notice Liam – well, notice that there are two Liam – even though they are in the middle of a loud conversation. It could be that   
Zayn's lousy in the mornings, but Niall and Harry both appear to be as confused as Zayn.  
  
"I can explain," Liam rushes to say, "but we need Louis too."   
  
He hopes that one of the boys have any idea what's going on. What they are supposed to do.   
  
Thankfully, it doesn't take long for Louis to join them. He's looking a bit frazzled, worried maybe. Which isn't weird, when Liam thinks about it, to call an emergency band meeting like this – this time a day – is unusual.   
  
"Yes, I know," Liam says, when Louis comes to a sudden stop, staring directly at the new addition to their band meeting. "That's the reason you're here."  
  
"You have a brother you haven't told us about." Louis actually looks a bit pissed off, which only can mean that he's hurt by what he thinks is Liam keeping secrets. "I don't understand the bloody emergency."   
  
"No," Liam says, voice coming out more reassuring a calm even though he feels like he's about to pass out. "That's me, like, at least it was me?"  
  
Harry, tactile as always, walks over and promptly pokes the younger boy in the cheek. The way his eyes roam over the young version of him, almost has Liam blushing.

 

The other Liam  _ is  _ blushing, his mouth open as he stares at Harry with big, startled eyes. 

  
"I'd forgotten how cute you were," Harry says, winking when Liam blushes even harder.  
  
Niall laughs, but rescues the blushing boy from Harry's hands, pulling him away from Liam. "True that, but not the part we should focus on, is it."  
  
"I'm still cute," Liam grumbles, stupidly enough feeling a bit jealous of himself.   
  
"Adorable, like a puppy," Louis says, but he's not even looking at him. It looks like he's talking about the younger version of him, from the way Louis hasn't looked away from him once.

 

The boy twists his hands and says. “Are you – what are you even – I, well.” His words come out in sudden bursts and nothing he says make any sense at all. The way he looks at Louis is so easy for Liam to read. He doesn't seem to know if he should look away or just stare at him.

 

Liam can relate to that, he still feel like that around Louis some days.

  
Zayn looks thoughtful, the only one of them thinking about anything practical it seems like. "If he's you, shouldn't you remember this, Liam? Not the sort of thing you forget, is it?"  
  
Liam shakes his head. Then he realises that he might know when this happened. Even if he doesn't remember, not really – he remembers how he woke up, feeling weird and dizzy, and with no memory of several days. The way he felt, still makes him feel a bit nauseous and scared. The marks on his body, and the... er, strange feeling in his body didn't make any sense either.  
  
"Well," he says, before falling quiet again. How should he say this without scaring the young version of himself, he seems kind of skittish, and Liam doesn't want him to bolt. "I don't remember anything but – like, I remember waking up with a gap in my memory, no idea what happened, just felt weird."  
  
Louis, finally, looks directly at him instead of the other Liam. "How long?"   
  
"Four days I think," Liam answers.

"There must be a reason he's here, some lesson or something. All the movies about time travel have one,” Harry ponders.

 

Harry has a point, probably, but Liam doesn't think his young self would want to talk about it in front of the other boys.

 

Little Liam – as Liam has started to call his younger self in his head – is a blushing, stuttering mess of a boy around the lads. He can barely look directly at any of them; something Liam sort of can understand, he is in a band with four very fit guys after all. The confusing thing is that that he acts the same when Liam tries to talk to him too, but it must be because of how weird it must be to see a three year older version of yourself.

 

“Maybe, but we can talk about that later,” Liam stalls. “We just need to figure out what to do.”

 

Zayn is the one who starts to list things – things Liam hasn't even begun to think about, he hasn't been thinking anything else but  _ weird  _ and  _ what  _ all morning. “First off, he can't leave the hotel when anyone sees him. He can't answer the door. Or the phone. It's a luck we're in the US, and that it only lasts for a few days.”

 

Liam nods along, thinking about how to handle this best, without making anyone realise that something's wrong.

 

\-- -- --

 

A little while later, Liam is alone with the curly-haired boy. He doesn't say much, only talks when asked directly. And even then it's mostly short answers that barely can be heard because of the way he mumbles.

 

Liam hoped it would be easier now that they were alone.

 

It's not, it turned out. Liam tries to talk to the boy, he knows there must be a meaning to all of this. Even if Liam doesn't understand.

 

"So, there must be something you want to talk about," Liam says gently.

 

Young Liam shakes his head, his curls bouncing wildly. He is kind of cute, Liam thinks. Then he feels weird and awkward since it's him after all, it feels kind of egocentric thinking like that.

 

"Nothing about the band?" Liam asks since the boy Liam knows his younger self in question had thoughts about was Louis. Mostly. When he gets another head shake as answer, he decides to be more direct. "Or maybe other boys?"

 

Another – this time more frantic – head shake, but at least now Liam gets an answer too. "No, why would you even ask that?"

 

"I'm you remember. Like, everything you feel is something I've gone through too. I know it's scary, but I think it might be that's why you're here," Liam tells him.

 

The boy blushes but tries to hide his pink cheeks behind his hands. "Can't lie to you, can I?"

 

"You don't need to," Liam says, and finally he gets a small smile in return.

 

"Louis drives me mad, like, proper mad," the boy admits. "Can't stop bloody thinking about him, though."

 

Liam sits down on the bed, close to the other Liam, who finally stopped looking as tense even if the blush is still sitting high on his cheeks. This time when he reaches out to thread his fingers through the curls, the boy lets him.

 

When eighteen-year-old Liam sighs softly, and slumps into his side he says, "You'll get used to it." Then he sighs and admits, "No – no, not really. But he's ace, such a good mate. It's worth it." 

 

Liam purposefully doesn't mention how hard it still sometimes gets, like when Louis smiles like there's nobody else present, or when he ignores everyone else for Liam´s sake. 

 

He doesn't mention how it broke his heart to see Louis find other people to love, and how himself found comfort in Harry.  These days are about making his younger self feel better, not anything else. And Liam told the truth, it's worth getting to have Louis, even if he still wishes he could have more.

 

"I know you and him aren't tight like we are now. Not yet. But he cares about you," Liam says.

  
The boy curled up next to him hums and pushes himself closer. "I didn't think he could get any more fit, like, I can't even look at him."

 

"All of them are," Liam says. 

 

"Yeah, but not like --" he cuts himself off, not used to being able to talk to anyone about his feelings. "I didn't think we would last. Not so many years."

 

"I don't know, like, what I'm allowed to tell you, but we are so lucky to have this, the five of us."

 

\--  -- --

 

Liam is in the bathroom when someone knocks at the door, and since his new roommate is curled up in bed, hiding away from everyone – also, not allowed to answer the door – he opens the door halfway to see who it is.

 

“Did you figure it out?” Louis asks, voice coming out slurred and uneven. He's clearly had a little bit too much to drink – the stress from the whole Liam-situation a bit too much probably.

 

Once Liam has pulled Louis into the bathroom and closed the door behind them, he says, “I don't know, but I think it might be that I had a bit of a crisis – about that I liked boys."  He doesn't say that it was Louis that was the main reason for said crisis, it's something Louis still doesn't know about. There is no reason for him to know, he doesn't feel the same, and Liam doesn't want things to get awkward.

 

“Yeah? Did he say something?” Louis asks.

 

Liam tries to stop the blush from spreading on his cheeks, but he knows that something is going to happen the next few days – the finger-shaped marks he still can remember sitting on his hips and thighs when he woke up that weird morning can only mean one thing.

 

“No, but, like, I might remember waking up. And I think something happened  – will happen,” Liam corrects himself.

  
Louis´ eyes shine with curiosity, when he asks, “You mean something sexual, but how? You're not allowed to meet people.” Louis sways a bit, and Liam reaches out to steady him, but Louis bats his hand away. “It must be Harry then. We all know about your little  _ thing  _ with him.”

 

“ I don't have a  _ thing  _ with Harry,” Liam defends himself. He really doesn't. Not now at least, not for a long time. The way Louis won't even look at him anymore, makes it hard for Liam to make Louis understand how sincere he is. “Me and Harry are mates, never been anything else. Well, we were alone and didn't have anybody else, but that's over. “

 

He and Harry used to help each other out, wanking each other off and having lazy make outs when they felt lonely and were a bit drunk. But they were never in love, probably could have been, if it wasn't for how Harry was in love with someone else, and Liam was too.

 

“You should have told me anyway.” Louis sounds pissed off, maybe even a bit hurt. “I mean, told us. We don't have bloody secrets in the band.

 

Liam can't explain why he never said anything; he knows that both Zayn and Niall knew too. They weren't exactly as quiet or discreet as they should have been. “But you all knew,” Liam says. “So, not a secret.”

 

“Well, Liam. The reason I know is because you got off together in the bus when you thought I was sleeping,” Louis says. “Not because you bloody told me, ain't it.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Liam pleads. With everything going on, he can't deal with Louis being upset with him too. “Just, we needed each other. It was easy and fun. But it's long over.”

  
"Yeah, because of Nick," Louis says. If Liam didn't know better Liam would think Louis was jealous, but he can't think of a reason for him to be. It must be the fact that Liam never told him that makes him act the way he does.

  
It must be.

 

"Partly, but that's not the point," Liam says. "What are you doing here anyway? And why are you drunk?"

 

"You shouldn't hog Liam. It's not fair," Louis mumbles, getting all up in Liam's face, waving his hand around.

 

"He's upset, and in bed," Liam says, wishing he too could be. This day turned out to be far more draining than he ever thought. "What do you even want with him?"

 

"Wouldn't you like to know," Louis huffs, but then his features soften. "I just want to talk to him."

 

"Yeah, you do that. If he wants to, that is. I'm going to see Harry, maybe should let him fuck me, yeah? Since that's what we do apparently," Liam says, trying for a joke but it comes out snarky.

 

He leaves them to it – walking out before Louis can say anything – even though he knows his younger self will be a nervous wreck being alone with Louis.

 

They can sort it out themselves. Liam can't deal both with Louis and  _ himself _ at the moment.

 

\-- -- --

 

After rehearsal, Liam hides out with Zayn in his hotel room. Luckily, Louis had sobered up when he joined the rest of the lads. His mood not as bad either, so Liam's happy that he left Louis in the hotel room, if he hadn't there probably would have been hell to pay.

 

He knows the younger version of him is alone at his hotel room. He hopes that he's there at least, that he hasn't left in a fit over something. And he must go back sometimes. That doesn't mean that he likes it when Zayn almost bodily forces him out of the room, to take care of Little Liam – which obviously was something Zayn found very amusing to say. 

 

He's right though, about the young him being stroppy when he gets back. He doesn't even get a hello when he opens the door.

  
"Did you have fun then, with Louis?" Liam asks. Louis had been surprisingly quiet about it, wouldn't even laugh and joke around about it, like Harry and Niall did. Liam hopes they didn't get in a fight, it's not like the young version of him is used to Louis like Liam is now.

 

"You left me with him," he answers, grumpily. "So not cool."

 

Oh, that never even crossed Liam´s mind. How uncomfortable he must have been, being alone with this older, hotter version of his Louis – who Liam had a slight problem concentrating around as it is.  "Sorry," Liam says, trying to hug the curly-haired boy close like before. The stiffness is back, but he lets Liam pull him tight, and Liam is happy with that. "He just wanted to talk to you. Was he nice to you?"

 

The telltale blush is back in full force, something Liam finds adorable. He can't help to stroke his fingers on the pink, warm skin and he gets curious when the boy blushes harder and shivers. 

 

"He was. Just, he was drunk and he wanted to cuddle – like, poke and touch me everywhere. Even worse than my Louis" he sounds pained and tense, but he slowly relaxes into Liam´s side. "You are like that too."

 

Liam hadn't noticed how his hand moved to stroking along the soft skin of the younger boy's neck, until he feels a hand on top of his own.

 

"You'll get used to it," Liam says. "But you liked it, yeah?"

 

"My body liked it. Likes it," he gets as answers, words almost impossible to hear from how they are mumbled into his neck.

 

When Liam looks down, he can see how the boy next to him shifts and presses his thighs together tightly.  "You didn't take care of it – after he left I mean," Liam mumbles, with a hot feeling spreading in his body. He shouldn't want to touch the boy next to him, but before he can think about it, he moves his hand to the boy's thigh.

 

The young him seems as shocked as Liam feels. All that twitchiness replaced with a sudden stillness. It takes a few seconds, him opening a closing his mouth several times before he answers. "Felt wrong, it's stupid, this isn't my room – didn't want to be weird with you."

 

Liam nods, slowly tracing the seam of the inside of the young boy's pants. Because of how close they are, Liam can feel how he shudders and starts to breath shallowly.  He gets a flash of doubt, about what he's about to suggest. But it has been long since he had this with someone, and it's not hard to read the boy next to him – it's his body after all.  "You could now, if you want to. Or, I could help," Liam offers, watching the way his younger self stills completely. "It's not weird, nothing I haven't seen before." He tries to joke, to make the tension in the air go away.

 

He gets a tense laugh back, and after what feels like an eternity he gets an answer. Not a verbal one, but the curly-haired Liam takes his hand and places it over his own crotch, pressing down lightly.

 

He's already half-hard underneath Liam´s hand and he moans quietly when Liam fits his hand around his dick.  "You sure?" Liam asks, waiting for a nod before he starts to work on getting the pants undone.

 

The cock in his hand is strangely familiar. The way it jumps in his hand when he traces the thick vein that runs along it. How wet it gets, precome leaking steadily from the tip, making the slide of his hand easy and smooth.  To hear his own moans and breathy whines like this, that's new though. They keep getting louder and louder, and Liam has to shush the boy next to him, to get him to quiet down.

 

It doesn't take long, before the boy groans and pushes his dick up into Liam's fist, coming in hard, wet pulses over own his stomach and Liam´s hand.  He pants heavily still, and he hasn't moved since he came. Liam wonders if he should go and jerk off in the bathroom, or if that will make things even weirder the next few days.

 

He needs to get off, however. He's hard in his pants, and he can feel how wet he has made them too. Getting up from bed, he sneaks one last look at the other boy, finding him watching Liam with dark, intense eyes.

 

"Need help with that? I – I could suck you? If you want to?”

 

The offer shocks Liam – it shouldn't he realises, it's him after all; he has always liked to suck guys off. Wanted to, even before he could admit it to himself.  Still, he can’t just say yes. “You don’t have to, like, I could just,” Liam trails off, nodding towards the bathroom.

 

“I want to,” he gets as answer, and his younger self does look eager. Wanting, but unsure. “You could close your eyes if you want to. I’ve never  done it, and I want to.”  The words tumble out of his mouth, a rapid stream of words, as if he’s scared that Liam will say no, or walk away.

 

Liam wants it too; he feels too hot, too big for his clothes.  “Yeah, okay,” Liam agrees, before he can think twice about it.  “You want me on the bed?”

 

He gets a nod, and the boy has a shy but eager gleam in his eyes  when Liam lies back down into the soft sheets, trying to get comfortable.  He doesn’t close his eyes. Instead,  he watches the way the younger boy´s fingers tremble as he tries to get Liam´s zipper open. How he shakes his head and lets out a frustrated little whine before Liam bats his hands away and gets his jeans open, and pushes them down with his pants.

 

Liam tries to be patient, and just let the boy take his time. But he’s so hard; his dick hard and leaking on his stomach. Needing someone to touch him, he takes his dick in his own hand, stroking once, twice. It feels good, and the eyes on him almost burning hot.  As he starts to pump his hand faster,  a hand stops him, lifting it from his cock, placing it directly in the curls. Liam understands what the boy wants, and threads his hand in the hair and gently pushes the boy down, until he can feel the hot, fast breath against his own cock.

 

The tongue that pokes out to trace the underside of his cock, is wet and eager but inexperienced. But it doesn’t matter when the boy sucks him down, slurping and panting around him, like he wants nothing more than to please Liam.

 

He’s on the edge already, and the mouth on him combined with the hand playing with his balls, just like Liam likes it, make him fight not to fuck up into the mouth. He knows the boy hasn't done it before, and he doesn’t want to choke him.

  
Liam likes it a bit rough himself, but he wants it to be nice and easy now. Not just make the boy take his dick down his throat, having him tear up and  drool around Liam´s cock.

 

The way the boy pushes himself closer and closer to Liam, taking him deeper into his mouth every time, make it hard for Liam not to do it, however.

 

His toes are starting to curl, and his hips  twitch under the hands holding him down. “I’m gonna come,” he warns, but the mouth doesn’t leave him. The boy sucking on his cock just moans, sending shivers up Liam´s spine, and sucks harder.  He comes with a loud groan – too loud, he knows, the walls of the hotel aren’t that thick – and the young Liam sputters and pulls back a bit instinctively, when Liam starts to come in his mouth. He tries to swallow the most, but a some of the come trickles out from between the pink, swollen lips.

 

He looks like a mess, with his hair standing on all ends, hazy eyes and his mouth looking like that. Still trembling, Liam pulls the boy up to him and gives him a soft kiss on the lips. “Thank you. You did good.

 

The boy is almost asleep only after a few minutes, and only murmurs something unhearable. Liam helps him get out of his clothes and under the sheets. Once he’s safely bundled up, Liam  tries to go to sleep to.

 

He can’t sleep.

 

\-- -- --

 

Liam tosses and turns, it has been more than an hour since he went to bed.

  
The boy next to him is asleep, looking happy and content, with a small smile on his lips.  Liam still can’t sleep.He feels guilty, and wrong. What did he even  _ do _ ?

 

He needs to talk to somebody, to get all these things whirling  through his head to calm down. Any of the boys would be fine probably – maybe not Louis, not that Liam doesn’t trust him, it just feels awkward now – but in the end he chooses to go to Niall.  

  
Niall is easy, and carefree; he won’t judge Liam.

  
He had to be careful, when he left the bed with the sleeping boy. He really doesn't want to answer any questions about why he's out and running in the middle of the night.  Now, when he is standing by Niall's door, knocking over and over, he can finally breath again.

 

Suddenly, the door swings open, revealing Niall, with his blanket pulled tight around himself, barely awake at all.  "What's going on? Got more Liam´s in your room?" Niall says with a sleepy laugh. Then he stops abruptly, having seen the distressed look in Liam´s eyes. "Something happened, mate?"

 

They can't have this conversation in the hallway. Not even in the middle of the night. Pushing himself into the room, Liam takes a deep breath before he says, "I slept with him".

 

Niall looks confused. "With who?"

 

"With myself," Liam says, voice low and unstable.

 

The confused look in Niall's eyes doesn't disappear. "You wanked, you mean? Why are you telling me that?" 

 

“ Not  _ myself _ , myself,” Liam clarifies. “The Liam sleeping in my room, who’s me, but not me right now. Remember him?”

 

“Still wanking, though,” Niall mumbles, getting back into bed, having decided it wasn’t an emergency after all. 

 

Liam shakes his head, feeling overly fond. Even if he doesn’t get how calm Niall is, his insides feel turned inside out. “Not my hand, or well, mouth, I guess.”

 

“Nice,” Niall says, laughing when Liam huffs and lies down in bed next to Niall, wanting a cuddle. “But, still your body so, must be wanking. Nothing to be ashamed off, Li.”

 

“Maybe,” Liam agrees, “But it’s still bloody weird.”

 

“ A bit maybe. But our bloody lives are weird aren’t they. So, you giving yourself blow jobs ain’t  _ that  _ weird.” Niall lets him curl up next to him, pulling him into a soft hug and patting him comforting on the back.

 

“Yeah,” Liam says, since he rather not discuss his mouth on his dick in greater detail, and he knows Niall probably wants to ask more embarrassing questions if he gets the chance. “But could you maybe not tell, like, the others?”

  
Niall hums, and ruffles his hair. “You mean, not tell Louis, that is?”

  
Liam hides his face in Niall´s side, knowing that he’s probably blushing again. “What? No – no, why would I mean that.”

 

“Come on, Li. The crush you had, have apparently since there are two of you now, on Louis could be seen from fucking space.”

 

Liam feels a surge of panic running through his body. “Does he know?” He doesn’t even try to deny it; there is no need for it. At least Niall doesn’t seem to think that Liam still has a crush on Louis.

 

"Nah, he's too busy with being distracted by him."

  
"What does that even mean?" Liam grumbles.

  
"You'll figure it out. Promise," Niall mumbles, appearing to be half asleep.

  
Liam should go back to his room. It's not nice to let his younger self waking up alone. But Liam is warm, safe, and falls asleep where he lies.

  
\-- -- --

 

"So," Harry says, chewing idly on a banana. Liam would laugh at him if it wasn't for the knowing glint in his eyes.

 

Harry spent time alone with him – the young him, that is – and Liam gets a tiny bit nervous.  When Harry doesn’t say anything, only winks and smiles lewdly, Liam asks,” What did he say?”

 

“ Didn’t say anything, did he. Our little guest. Didn’t need to, with the way he sounded. Also, the lips, Li. It’s easy to tell...” Harry trails off, and instead of telling Liam what’s easy to tell – not that he really need to, Liam  _ knows  _ – he mimes the universal blow job-move.

 

“I don’t know what you’re, like, saying,” Liam lies, avoiding to look Harry in the eyes. “He didn’t even leave the room, not allowed is he.”

 

“Harry’s smile only grows bigger, and dirtier. “Oh, really. So, who was in your room. Louis again?”

 

“Why does everybody think I – he has a crush on Louis,” Liam nearly wails, before he remembers  that he maybe shouldn’t be so bloody loud. Not when Louis has the habit of popping up everywhere.

 

“Because we know you, Li,” Harry says softly.

 

He really had thought that he was better at keeping secrets than he obviously ever was.“But it wasn’t Louis. Nobody was there,” Liam admits, something he regrets at once when Harry goes back to smiling that way – like he figured something out.

 

“So, nobody else was there. But, he obviously sucked someone,” Harry says, looking pleased with his conclusion.

 

“No,” Liam tries to cut in.

 

“Which means it was you. Dirty boy.” Harry sounds impressed and claps his hands together, looking far more happy than he should.

 

Liam gives up on trying to tell Harry otherwise. He doesn't even want to, he never wants to lie to his boys. "Yeah, maybe. But be quiet. Like, not everyone should know."

 

"Just us," Harry agrees. 

 

\-- -- --

 

During the show Harry keeps joking around, giving both his and Liam´s microphone very detailed imitations of blow jobs.  Liam is glad that it's normal behavior, for him and Harry. After a while, the tension he's been carrying since last night start to disappear more and more.

 

Niall mostly giggles at them, especially when Liam gets pulled along and joins in on Harry's  _ fun _ .

 

\-- -- -- 

 

All day, Liam has been able to avoid the boy hiding away in his hotel room. Louis has kept giving him little comments and hints about it, but Liam hasn't had the energy to deal with the mess he made last night – quite literary.

 

Though, he knows he can’t avoid it forever. Well, he could, but he won’t.  He barely inside the door when Liam hears, "I grew up into a dick, I see."

 

"No. I mean, I didn't mean to fall asleep at Niall's." 

  
"The rest of you have been here." He sounds upset, and he's curled up into a ball on the bed.

  
"I'm sorry," Liam mumbles while he lies down on the bed, trying to pull the boy into a hug. "I'll make it up to you."

 

“Yeah, you will," is mumbled softly into his skin.

 

\-- -- --

 

It's the third day, and they are in a new city and a new hotel. Somehow, they managed to get his younger self to and from the bus without getting caught.

 

Luckily.

 

Liam has taken to avoiding everyone as much as possible. Harry and Niall keep hinting and being  _ awfully  _ indiscreet.  He tried to, with Louis and his younger self. But Louis won't let him, as soon as Liam gets into his own hotel room, Louis is there and takes up all time and space. Getting more and more pissy whenever Liam tries to get between them.

 

In the end, he gave up. After all, the younger boy seemed to enjoy himself and in a little more than one day he'll get to have Louis to himself again.

 

\-- -- -- 

 

It’s the last night Liam has with  _ his  _ Liam, and they are spending it alone in his hotel room. They are lazily making out, there is no real purpose. It’s not going anywhere, just one soft, sweet kiss after another.

 

It doesn’t feel strange anymore. Just nice and comfortable.  At least it is, until they hear the door slam shut, and someone is swearing loudly – someone, who Liam, of course, immediately recognizes as Louis.

 

They pull away from each other at the same time as Louis says, “Bloody hell. What – what are you doing?”

 

Liam´s heart is beating hard in his chest, as if it’s trying to escape – something Liam too wishes he could do. “It’s not what it looks like.”

 

“ Well, it looks like you were having a bit of  _ fun  _ with Liam,” Louis says snidely. 

 

He didn’t want Louis to know about it, but that was because Liam thought he would laugh and poke fun at Liam. Not look angry and hurt, like he actually does. 

 

None of the other boys had reacted anything like that. 

 

“I wanted too,” his younger self mumbles, “he is kind of hot.” He is blushing, like most of the time around Louis, but he’s also looking him straight in the eyes, with a stubborn look on his face.

 

Louis huffs and rolls his eyes. “Everyone thinks he’s  _ hot _ . And we don’t get to make out with him.”

 

“What?” Liam asks. “You don’t get to make out with me? Like, you never wanted to do that.”

 

Louis rolls his eyes and grumbles something under his breath. The only thing Liam can hear is  _ stupid  _ and  _ fucking _ . “Didn’t hear you there, Louis. How the fuck should I know what you want when you act like a child,” Liam says, feeling frustrated.

 

“You are making out with a child,” Louis says, obviously looking for a fight. 

 

The curly-haired Liam looks offended. “I’m not a child. And, it’s not like you didn’t want to. With me, I could tell yesterday when we were alone.”

 

“What?” Liam asks. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He doesn’t understand the hurt coiling in his tummy. He’s not sure if it’s the fact that the boy kept secrets from him, or the fact that Louis kept secrets from him that’s the worst.

 

“I was going to. But then I thought that Louis would want to, like, say it himself.” When neither Liam now Louis say anything, he continues. “You could, you know. If you wanted to, Louis.”

 

Louis looks as shocked as Liam feels. What is even he suggesting? That Liam should leave the two of them alone?

  
“Like, all three of us,” the boy clarifies when everyone around him seems have lost the ability to talk. And to think.

 

“All three of us,” Louis echos quietly, before he lights up. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s fucking do that.”

 

Liam can only sit there, unable to move as his younger self smiles and promptly gets up to pull Louis into a kiss. The two of them look fetching together, Liam thinks. With Louis´ hands cradling Liam´s face while they kiss each other softly.

 

It’s first when they pull away from each other, both breathing heavily, that Liam realises that he too could have that. Still, he only waits for them to come to him, wringing his hands nervously as he waits for them to sit down on either side of him and take his hands in their own.

 

“You want it. Yeah?” Louis asks with a smile on his face. His eyes are dark, and his mouth so, so pink and wet. 

 

Liam has never felt more drawn to him before. Not like this. He  nods, and says, “I think this night should be about me. About that other me. It’s his last night here after all.”

 

“Seems fair,” Louis shrugs. But instead of giving his attention to the other boy straight away, Louis pulls him into a quick snog, trailing his fingers up Liam´s neck while he sucks on his lower lip, making it hard for Liam to remember that it isn’t about him. 

 

Not tonight at least.

 

It takes great will-power for him to pull away from Louis´ lovely, clever mouth. “Not about me,” he whines as Louis starts to bite a love bite into his skin.

 

When Louis, at last, pulls his mouth away from Liam, Liam turns to find his younger self´s eyes fixated on the two of them. The boy’s biting his lip hard, and his eyes already glazed over.  Louis gives him a look with a raised eyebrow, as he nods towards the curly-haired boy. “So, Li. Tell me what he likes. You would know after all.”

 

“He likes to be good. Likes the feeling of cock in him,” he says, making the younger boy blush, and look interested. 

 

Louis has a hungry gleam in his eyes, and his gaze keep flicking between the two of them. It’s the younger one he touches after a few heavy seconds. He gets up and moves to sit on the other side of the boy, trapping him in between himself and Liam.

 

Louis´ hand is on the boy´s thigh, trailing up and down, not touching him where he needs it the most. 

  
“Don’t tease, Lou,” Liam whispers as he puts his own hand on top on the obvious hard-on in the boy´s pants. He can feel it twitch against his hand, even through the fabric, and it’s hot and heavy in a way that’s eerily familiar.

 

Together they quickly help him get undressed, both of them marking his skin with their fingers and mouths as they map out his body.  Liam guides Louis, to help him find the places that make the boy writhe and moan under them, and it doesn’t take long until he’s close to the edge.  Liam can tell from the way he pushes himself against Louis´ fingers in him, and how heavily his dick leaks procome on his belly when Liam strokes his fingers along the underside of it.

 

When Louis lines himself up, and slowly pushes his dick in, Liam holds his younger self´s hand, shushing him softly when he moans loudly. 

 

He helps the boy wrap his legs around Louis´ back, his sweaty  and trembling legs slipping  once, twice before Liam says, “I would like to see you fuck him on his hands and knees, Lou. He likes that.”

 

Liam doesn’t touch himself, not until the two other seem completely lost in each other.  Louis fucking into the curly-haired boy from behind, making him rock forward with his thrusts, whining every time Louis hits that lovely place inside of him. Then he takes his  dick in his hand, stroking himself roughly a couple of times before Louis stops his fast,hard pace. 

 

“No touching, Li,” Louis pants. “Not about you remember. When I’m done with this lovely boy, you’re going to make him feel even better.”

 

Liam lets go of him cock, whining unhappily in the back of his throat. He wants. No, he  _ needs  _ to come.

 

Once again, he’s totally focused on the two boys fucking in front of him. The way they move, and sound together make Liam think he’s going to come as soon as someone touches him.

 

Louis comes, sudden and hard, pushing forward one last time as he bites down on the younger boy´s shoulder, making him whine and his arms give out 

 

They fall down on the bed together, in a sweaty mess of limbs, and Liam gives them a few minutes to recover before he helps Louis to move off the boy splayed out underneath him. 

 

“You’re going to suck him off, babe,” Louis tells him, voice rough. “Then you're allowed to come.”

 

Liam nods eagerly, and wraps his lips around the boy’s throbbing cock. He gets a needy whine in return when he pushes down, until he can feel the head bump against the back of his throat, making it hard for him to breath properly. Pulling up again, he works his hand over the boy’s prick, and the next time  he goes down he takes  it as far as he can go, feeling the cock throb and twitch in his throat. He pushes further, hearing how Louis swears and swallows hard. His eyes are starting to tear up, but it’s worth it – so worth it – when his younger self groans, and spills his come into his mouth. 

 

He pulls off when the boy swats at his head, and he smiles to himself when he sees the shocked, and impressed look on Louis´ face.

 

"You're fucking ace at that. Noted," Louis says with a pleased little smile. "But now it's your turn, isn't it?"

  
While Liam nods, Louis plants himself in his lap, wriggling his arse around on Liam´s thighs until he sits comfortably. Then he takes ahold of Liam´s dick, wanking him off with sure flicks of his wrist. It makes Liam feel overheated, and out of control.  It doesn't last long – not like Liam wants it to – he's pushed too far already by everything that has happened tonight. And when Louis rubs his thumb over the head of his cock, Liam comes, trembling wildly through the aftershocks of his orgasm.

 

\-- -- --

 

When Liam wakes up, it’s just him and Louis in the bed. The place next to him is still warm, so he figures the other him must have left just before he woke up.  Liam wishes he could have been awake, to be able to say thanks for helping Liam with what he always wanted most.

 

Louis snuffles in his sleep, and makes an unhappy noise when Liam pulls away to leave the bed. Only to get some water; he doesn’t ever want to leave Louis to wake up alone.

 

“You’re not allowed to leave the bed,” Louis grumbles sleepily, hanging on to Liam´s arm with all he got. “Ever.”

 

“Sure,” Liam agrees. They do have a day off, so they could spend all day in bed if they want to. He lets Louis rearrange him until they are pressed closely together again, him with his front molded against Louis, one on his legs pressed between Louis´.

 

“So, I figured this might be it,” Louis says softly. “It probably never was about Liam from the past, it was we that needed to realise that we could have this.”

 

“That’s bloody weird,” Liam says, even though he was thinking the same thing.

  
“But it worked – and I got to have my way with that version of you too. Thought I was going to go crazy, having both that cute, hot version and you at the same time.  And I couldn’t have either one of you,” Louis says.

 

“You could. Like, back then too.” Liam would have said yes,  then and now. He will always say yes to Louis.

 

“You could have told me,” Louis point out, while he starts to trace his fingers along Liam´s spine. Slow and teasing, almost feather light touches that makes Liam crave more.

 

“ _You_ could have told _me_ ,” Liam says, starting to breath a bit shallowly, pushing closer to Louis, rubbing their sleep-warm skin against each others.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis says, distracted. “You know, last night was good. Learned loads of stuff about what you like, but I didn’t get to do it to you, not really.”

 

Liam lets Louis push him backwards until he lies flat on the bed, with Louis holding himself up over him.

 

“I was thinking we should do something about that now,” Louis murmurs while he starts to trails kisses down Liam´s neck.  Louis´ mouth is making it hard for him to think properly, but Liam nods and lets out a broken moan when Louis bites down, and sucks hard. For sure leaving a mark.

 

\-- -- --

 

Several hours later, they finally leave the hotel room. Louis with a smug and happy look on his face and Liam can’t stop himself from blushing a bit when he feels how sore and tired his body is.  Something must show on his face – it could also be the bite marks on his neck, along with the way Louis is touching him all the time – because Niall takes one look at them. Then he breaks down in a giggle.

 

“Hey,” Liam complains, “don’t laugh at me.” Which, of course, only makes Niall laugh even harder.

 

“Hey,” Louis says, breaking off to put a  wet kiss on Liam´s cheek, making him smile like an idiot. He knows it. “Don’t laugh at my boyfriend.”

 

“Boyfriend?” Liam asks, voice coming out happy and high. Squeakier than ever before.

 

“Stop being so fucking cute,” Niall says fondly. “No fucking in places where we can walk in either. New band-rule.”

 

Harry and Zayn take that moment to walk into the room, looking between the way Louis and Liam are holding hands and the still giggling Niall.

 

“What new band-rule?” Zayn asks.

 

“Those two,” Niall says, waving his hand toward Liam and Louis. “No fucking in places where we could walk in on them.”

 

“We wouldn’t,” Liam says at the same time as Louis says, “That’s not our problem.”

 

Neither Harry nor Zayn look surprised about the need for a new band-rule Though, Harry doesn’t seem to see the need for one either. “I don’t mind. Liam is kind of hot anyway.”

 

“Hey,” Louis says. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.”

 

“And I’ve seen him naked,” Harry says with a smirk.

 

Before Louis can retaliate, Zayn breaks in. “Everybody has seen Liam naked. Enough talking about Liam´s dick now, please.” 

 

“It was about bloody time,” Harry says, “And it only took time travel for you two to get your heads out of your arses.”

  
  


 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr post](http://pandadepanda.tumblr.com/post/101782997679/me-myself-and-i-8267-words-by-misslii)   
> 


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